The Cataclysmic “Change of Life”

Note to men: If you’re squeamish about female biology, first, apologize to your wives, girlfriends, mothers, aunts, etc., for being a manbaby. Second, stop being a manbaby. Knowledge is power.

Picture this: you're going along living your life, when it gradually dawns on you that you're changing in weird ways. It’s like you’re turning into a whole new person, like Spiderman post–radioactive bite. The closest nonfictional analogy is like when you were turning from a child into an adolescent. It’s an actual metamorphosis. The best visual representation I’ve seen on the topic is this:

Does this speak to your experience? It’s called “The Asian Aging Process,” but I think it applies to most women, (with the exception of Age 120 for obvious reasons).

Your mind and body start shifting in fits and starts. Weird and powerful hormonal stuff happens; you’re hot all the time, you’re alternately crabby and weepy, and it seems reasonable to tell people to be careful of your rhododendrons.

Behold my glorious rhododendron!

Like in pregnancy, different people have different experiences. Some women love the feeling of growing new life; some feel like a malignant alien has hijacked their bodies to drain their life force. (That’s actually happening by the way—thankfully it only lasts 10 months.)

We don't talk enough about this subject. Many people don't even know what it is or what it does to a person until and unless they go through it themselves. And when we do talk about it, it's all hot flashes, hormone replacement therapy, and plucking chin hairs. It is unusual to talk about the freedoms that come with the Change besides not having to worry about pregnancy. (Note: menopause babies are a thing, so be careful until you've had a full year with no cycles.)

Personally, I've had a great, but kind of scary experience, mostly psychological. I've had brain fogs and freezes, feelings of elation and sluggishness, but most of all, excitement for this next chapter of my life, which hopefully will bring wisdom. (A special insight was that my actions speak louder than my words. As a writer, that kind of sucked to realize. But knowing how to wield influence is important. I always believed in that adage, however, like my close personal friend Taylor Swift, I can look directly at the sun but never in the mirror; so this insight was a big deal. Some days the insights pour down on my head like a deluge; other days I'm back in kindergarten screaming "but I don't wanna!" Life is weird.

In short, I believe menopause is so much more than society recognizes. It is a natural shift from womanhood to womanhood+, and can bring more good to our lives than bad. I no longer feel sad about being (yikes) "a dried up old woman"; I feel happy to be alive in my 50s, because that is a gift most women in history did not get.

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