The Life of a Showgirl: A Most Delicious Sandwich...

With Just a Small Bit of Feces In It

[Content warning: do not proceed if you don't know or don't want to know anything about a "love song" called WOOD]

Taylor Swift's new album "The Life of a Showgirl" was filled with (I almost said meaty) rich lyrics, addictive melodies, haunting chord progressions, brain-massaging percussion...and just a tiny dollop of feces.

It was truly surreal to listen to my favorite singer/songwriter/poet Taylor Swift shouting to the world how much she loves her fiance's giant dick. It's unimaginable that the same writer behind this:

Say it once again with feeling

How the death rattle breathing

Silenced as the soul was leaving

The deflation of our dreaming

Leaving me bereft and reeling

My beloved ghost and me

Sitting in a tree

D-Y-I-N-G

just put out a song like WOOD, which contains the unimaginable lines:

Forgive me,

It sounds cocky

He [Ah]matized me and opened my eyes

Redwood tree

It ain't hard to see

His love was the key that opened my thighs

Swift devotee Zachary Hourihane, aka The Swiftologist, called WOOD "unforgivable":

I loved The Life of a Showgirl, but like a sandwich with even a microscopic amount of shit in it (and Taylor was very clear that there is no micro anything here), it affects how I feel about the whole album.

There aren't enough vomit emojis to express how I feel about this abhorrent penis paean.

I have to borrow this image from a deleted post that I never thought I'd have to use again, but please, Taylor, I am on my knees (metaphorically, you gutter rats) begging you:

Never. Again. Please. But if you absolutely must let the world know more about the genitalia in your life, at least put the smut in a biohazard bag tied with the pretty bow of brilliant lyrics, a la "Dress," "Guilty as Sin," and "...Ready For It."

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