More Light, Less Heat

Daryl Davis and Grand Wizard (national leader) of the Ku Klux Klan

Daryl Davis was a Black musician, activist, and independent thinker.

As a 10-year-old Cub Scout, he was the only Black child in his troop marching in his town's parade. While he carried the American flag, people in the crowd began throwing things at him. At first, he thought they just didn’t like the Scouts—but later, his parents explained that it happened because of the color of his skin. He was confused; it just didn’t make sense to him.

Years later, after a performance at a country bar, a white man complimented his piano playing, and they had a beer together.

The man admitted it was the first time he’d ever had a drink with a Black man.

That man turned out to be a member of the Ku Klux Klan.

Instead of rejecting him, Davis became curious, asking "how can you hate me when you don’t even know me?”

He decided to make it his mission to befriend members of the Ku Klux Klan and other white supremacist groups. His approach was based on personal dialogue—meeting people face-to-face, listening to them, and calmly challenging their views. Over the years, Davis’s conversations persuaded many KKK members to leave the organization and give up their robes, some of which he kept as a symbol of their transformation.

Humans rarely listen—let alone consider another others' views—when they do not feel heard themselves.

Hate is often is based on assumptions about others. These assumptions may or may not be true—the only way to know is to ask questions and listen to the answers—listen to understand, not just to respond.

Here is a story from Davis's 1998 book Klan-destine Relationships: A Black Man’s Odyssey in the Ku Klux Klan (paraphrased):

Daryl sat across from a Klan leader for the first time. Roger Kelly, who at the time was a Grand Dragon (state leader) of the Maryland chapter of the Ku Klux Klan, showed up to the meeting wearing his robe and hood, accompanied by armed bodyguards. Despite the intimidating atmosphere, Daryl asked questions and listened. Over the years, their relationship shifted from tense meetings to real friendship. When Roger Kelly's daughter was born, he and his wife asked Daryl Davis—the very man Roger once considered his enemy—to be their baby's godfather.

Uplifting stories are hard to come by today (unless you carefully manage the media you follow). Daryl Dixon gives me hope that deeply divided people on the right and left of our political spectrum could come together and see each other's humanity, that we are all the same on the inside. We all want to be loved, understood, and accepted for who we are. We all have fears, and we are all prone to scapegoating others. But the wisdom of Martin Luther King Jr. still rings true:

"We must learn to live together as brothers or perish together as fools."

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